One Blessing, Two Blessings, Three Blessings, Four - From Dad's Point of View

by Jim Zola

My wife and oldest son recently went on a vacation together. It was intended as a "bonding" trip. Since we had our two little ones (ages 2 & 3), our oldest child (13) often gets left out of things, or included in things he would rather be left out of. So we decided he needed some one on one time with each of his mom and dad. For me, the time would be camping trips with the Boy Scouts. For my wife, we planned a trip to New York City) neither of them had been before) to sightsee and take in a Broadway show.

As the day approached for their departure to New York, the reality set in for me. For one entire week, I was to be a single Dad -- just me and Ariana (3) and Ethan (2) and Bela (10 months old -- our dog). I tried to play it cool. No problem. I'm a grown man. But the underlying fears began to seep in -- sickness, injury, car problems, sitter problems, dog problems, strange rashes, unanswerable questions, hair washings, 2 AM cries for Mommy Mommy. And that was just me, then there were the kids.

Of course, I survived my week. But what I learned by living these days, nights, minute by minute drams was that I have all the respect in the work for all those single Moms and single Dads out there that do this stuff day in and day out. There is a vast world of difference between having the kids for a day, no matter how much green stuff is dripping out of their noses, knowing that your partner will be there to relieve you eventually. Eventually you will be able to drink that cup of coffee, use the bathroom, and stop using your funny high-pitched voices and pretending your fingers are people in the neighborhood.

I have a sister-in-law who is a single mom. She adopted a little girl from China a little over a year ago. The little girl, Maeve, is a very healthy, very active child. My sister-in-law jumped into the middle of the deep end of mommyhood. And she survived. In fact, she is talking about going back to China to get another child. I am amazed and full of respect.

I have a brother-in-law who has a child, almost the same age as my little girl. His daughter was born with heart problems and other medical complications. She spent most of the first year of her life in hospitals, either for surgeries or as the result of the common ailments that would simply make the average child a little cranky. To see this little girl today you wouldn't know she had been so at-risk so little time ago. My brother-in-law and his wife have survived the stress and emotional roller-coaster ride and have made it look easy. They are expecting their second child sometime at the start of the new millennium. For them I am full of respect.

I have two sisters who are single working moms. One has a 14 year-old; the other has two children, 7 and 11 years-old. The kids are wonderful, bright healthy children. Is that due to luck or coincidence? I think not. It is due to the hard work, love and motherly dedication of these two women. I respect my sisters for this.

The list could go on. I was a single dad for one week. I had trouble sleeping. I prayed each night that nothing would go wrong. My wife and son returned from their trip with souvenirs, pictures and stories.

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