Murky Decisions and Curveballs

 
By Catie of Woman Links

Did you ever notice that no matter how you plan your life, it never quite works out exactly that way? What you think you want isn't always what you really need. We are all taught to imagine our life in a linear form-school, college, marriage, big job at a big company with big paychecks, kids in school, parents in PTA, retirement, trip to Bermuda, and so on. The reality is, life constantly slips sneaky little curves in there when you aren't looking.

If I were to graph out my linear vision for my life next to the really tangential phenomonon it has become, the difference would be night and day.

Now, with this in mind, doesn't it also reason that after 35 years I would "get" the fact that my best laid plans just aren't always what is in the "Plan" for me? Why am I still surprised at life's curve balls?

Did you also notice that when you force your linear plan on your life, the curve balls become more numerous and more frequent? What is up with that? If there is some master syllabus for what is supposed to happen in my life, where can I get a copy?

Since my sons are reaching school age, I have wrestled with how to best educate them, run a home-based business or two, and have some quality time for my own life. For some reason, every time I think I have the issue resolved and a great plan to follow, someone comes into my life, someone says something, or an article lands on my lap that pretty much blows my reasoning out the door. To say the least, this has done a number on my ability to read clearly what I want and what is best for my kids. Every neurotic tendancy I have to second-guess myself and my abilities is coming out to party on this issue.

Besides the education of my children, I have to believe there is another issue here. Control and rigidity just don't work in life. There is a great scene in the movie "Phenomonon" where John Travolta is about to reach boiling point when he notices the trees bending in the wind. Such a look of calm covers his face as he realizes what is happening.

Letting go and just flowing with the current of life makes the scary new stuff managable. Looks like as the education of my children begins, mine just keeps on coming.

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