Frogs are funny animals, aren’t they? They might not be the prettiest things, but princesses kiss them, so they can’t be all that bad, right? Frogs give us plenty of chances to poke fun at them; let’s have a laugh.
Frog puns one-liners
Why are frogs good at playing basketball? Because they make excellent jump shots.
Why are frogs always happy? Because they eat what bugs them.
What kind of music do frogs enjoy? They love hip-hop.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs enjoy listening to? Hopera.
What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit? A bunny ribbit.
What is a frog’s favorite year? The leap year.
What animal goes dot-dot-croak, dash-dot-croak? A morse toad.
What do you get if you cross a dog and a frog? A croaker spaniel.
What is a frog’s favorite flower? A croakus.
What is a frog’s favorite soda? Croaka-cola.
Why did the tadpole say he felt lonely? Because he was newt to the pond.
Why did the frog meow? He was learning a second language
What do you call an amphibian spy? A croak and dagger agent.
What happened after the frog’s car broke down? He managed to jump-start it.
Where does a frog sit? On a toadstool.
What did the frog say when reviewing his favorite book? Reddit, reddit, reddit.
Kermit the Frog jokes
What do you get if you cross a frog and some mist? Kermit the Fog.
When I was young, I dressed up as a frog before I robbed the bank. It was the first crime I ever Kerm-itted.
What do Kermit the Frog and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.
What did Kermit the frog say after reaching the summit of Mount Everest? A muppet
How do most frogs die? They decide to Kermit suicide.
What do you call Kanye West dressed as Kermit the Frog? I have no idea, but it’s not Yeezy being green.
What’s green and appears every 76 years? Halley’s Kermit.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson’s memorial? Nothing.
Short, cute frog one-liners for kids
What does a frog do with paper? Rip-it
What do you call girls with frogs on their heads? Lilly.
What do you call a frog with no legs? Unhoppy.
What shoes do frogs like the best? Open toad sandals.
What do trendy frogs wear? Jumpsuits.
Why did the frog go to the hospital for treatment? His doctor said he needed a hopperation.
What is a frog’s all-time favorite sport? Croaket.
What do you call frogs that park illegally? Toad.
Why did the frog decide to read a book about Sherlock Holmes? He loves a good croak and dagger story.
This movie is ribbiting.
Please don’t park your car here, frog; it will be toad.
Look at that frog. He’s hopping mad.
Those frogs are in a Kermitted relationship.
I’ve been toad. I make a lot of animal puns.
Why didn’t you say anything? I wish you’d toad me.
I like you. You’re toad-ally cool.
Interesting puns. They’re all so ribbiting.
This parking is for frogs only. Other vehicles will be toad.
Frog jokes for kids
What happens if two frogs collide with each other? They get tongue-tied!
How do frogs feel when they have a broken leg? Unhoppy.
What happens when you mix frogs with bathtub scrubby-mits? Rubbits!
What happened to the frog’s car when the parking meter expired? The traffic department toad the vehicle.
What’s green, green, green, green, green? A frog that’s rolling down the hill.
What did the frog order at the McDonald’s drive-thru?
A Big Mac, a side of French flies, and a diet croak.
What is the thirstiest amphibian in the world? The frog who drinks Canada Dry!
How deep can a frog go underwater? Knee-deep, Knee-deep.
What do bankrupt frogs say? “Baroke, baroke, baroke.”
What kind of pole is short and limp? A tadpole.
What is a frog’s favorite restaurant? iHop.
Where does the frog hang his coat? In the croakroom.
What is a frog’s favorite car? The Beetle.
What’s a frog’s favorite candy? A lollihop.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun? He wanted to robbit.
Toad puns
What do you say when you have the opportunity to meet a new toad? Wart’s new?
What do you call frogs that like to hang from the ceiling on Christmas day? Mistletoad.
What do you get when you cross a science fiction film with a toad? Star Warts.
Dirty Frog jokes
What is green and red and flies around and around at over 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!
What is the difference between a horny toad and a frog?
One says ribbit ribbit. The other one says rub-it, rub-it!
What do Kermit the frog’s fingers smell like? Bacon.
