Are you taking the kid’s show shopping this afternoon? We all know how kids can get restless on shopping trips. Keep them entertained and laughing with these hilarious shoe puns and jokes.
Shoe puns one liners
Which letter has a footwear brand? A D does.
What’s the favorite footwear of water birds? Duck Martins.
Why is this leather shoe stubborn? Because none can suede it.
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What are the favorite shoes of artists around the world? Sketchers.
What kind of shoes do frogs like wearing? Open toad models.
Did you hear about that fire in the shoe store? Many soles were burned alive.
What happened after the teacher tied the children’s shoelaces together? They took a class trip.
What do we call two banana peels? Slippers.
Why was the shoe late for the bus? He got tied up.
What happens if you eat shoe polish and yeast? You’ll rise and shine every morning.
What’s a car’s favorite sneaker brand? Vans.
What do you call a pair of married shoes? Sole-mates.
Dad jokes about shoes
The shoemaker gave his work his awl.
I couldn’t tie my shoelaces, so I went to boot camp.
I worked in a shoe recycling center, which was a sole-destroying job.
Velcro sneakers are such a rip-off.
I bought some Converse shoes, and I talk to them every day.
I buy my shoes in bulk, by the foot.
I want to buy those platform shoes, but I’m a little short, and I can’t afford them.
I saw a man listening to sole music. He had a boot to each ear.
I need to buy new shoes, one of them isn’t right.
Foot and shoe puns
How does the rainstorm tie its shoelaces? Using a rainbow.
Which is the only animal that sleeps with its shoes on? The horse.
How come Winnie-the-Pooh doesn’t wear any shoes? He’s got bear feet.
What kind of shoes do spies wear? They love sneakers.
What shoes do mice wear? They love squeakers.
What’s made of canvas or leather and sounds like someone sneezing? Shoes.
How come shoemakers go to heaven? Because they all have good soles.
What do you get when you cross a pair of shoes with bread? Loafers.
Which footwear do plumbers hate? Wooden clogs.
What has a tongue, a sole, and six eyes? A sneaker.
What did the shoe say to the hat? I’ll follow on foot. You go ahead.
What is Captain Hook’s worst shoe brand? Crocs.
Shoe puns for Instagram
I took a test on shoes, and I totally laced it!
I’m never buying Velcro shoes because they’re a rip-off.
We’ll be together forever. We’re sole mates.
It looks like these geese love wearing duck martens.
Voldemort loves wearing his Horcrocs.
Nike shoe puns
What did Nike say to the other shoes in October?
Just doot
A Nike shoe factory burned down, and 1,000 soles were lost in the fire!
What do you call fish wearing Nike shoes?
Swushi
If Nike did a line of Apple MacBook’s would you call them Nike Air Macs?
The Nike logo really ticks me off.
High heel shoe jokes
Accidents involving high heels are at an all-time high.
My wife said I should get some high heels for her birthday. I’m getting weird looks walking downtown.
This is my wife’s first time in heels, and she’s reached new heights.
I went to a drag race on Friday. The guy in the heels won.
Jokes about boots and shoes
I’ve invented a boot made out of Lego. It doesn’t hurt when you stand on it. You just get a little taller.
A friend’s acne burst when he visited the pharmacist. We called him puss in Boots.
I was considering starting a car football league but thought twice about it. They all only had one boot.
Went to a car boot sale, but I don’t know why. I already have a car boot.
What did the doctor say to the patient who broke their foot for the second time? I’ll reboot you.
