Why do we use sniffer dogs to locate drugs and explosives? Because sending in sniffer humans with their noses would be ridiculous.
Which type of career can you get if you have a very sensitive nose? Absolutely no careers where drugs are involved, so you probably shouldn’t go into music production.
What’s the right way to clean your nose according to doctors and beauty professionals? By using a pressure hose.
What do you call it when smoke comes out of your nose? A rough day.
We must be living in very desperate times with a big recession coming. The other day I saw a very rich CEO trying to save a $100 from the financial collapse by rolling it up and putting it in his nose. I couldn’t believe it!
How do you know that a headache is probably because of a sinus problem? Because your nose is broken.
Hilarious Nose Puns
Why does your nose bleed when it’s broken? Because you should have asked a few less questions.
How do you know that a company CEO is on cocaine? They got promoted to company CEO.
What type of job do most professional models and actors have before they start their professional careers? A nose job.
What’s the difference between a nose job and an acting job? A nose job will get you somewhere.
How do you stop someone from snoring in their sleep? Break their nose.
Why should you punch a shark on the nose when it’s about to attack? Because you can’t remember the Konami Code when you’re panicking in the water.
What should you do when you wake up with a sensitive nose? Reassure it and say that everything is going to be okay.
Why do people say that you cut off your nose to spite your face? Because they’re right.
How do you guarantee a broken nose when you’re in a hand-to-hand combat situation? Keep your hands behind your back and insult your assailant’s mother.
Why did Red Riding Hood ask her grandmother about her nose when she saw the wolf in her grandmother’s clothing? Because she knew her grandmother didn’t powder her nose that much with a straw, so it must have been someone else.
What do you call a nose with a straw hanging out of it? The drummer in the band.
Short Nose Puns
What’s the main important difference between crack and cocaine? Whether it’s going to fit up your nose in its most natural state.
Why is it comforting to lie with your head in someone’s lap? Because you get to look up their nose.
From where does English get the expression “Cutting off your nose to spite your face”? From marriage.
How do you know that your nose is definitely broken? It keeps clicking when you sneeze.
Why does the Sphinx in Egypt have no nose? Because the artist’s arms got tired when he was making the rest of it.
Why have people been putting drugs up their noses for hundreds of years? Because the other end of humans don’t have any natural suction ability.
Why do humans have one nose? Because it would have been really creepy if most people were born with three.
Where is Voldemort’s nose according to the popular Harry Potter book franchise? Somewhere in the pages of book three.
What kind of business can get you in a lot of trouble with the law? When your nose has been in the wrong person’s business.
How can you tell that someone is cheating at a game of battleship? Check their nose for a bomber.
Why does getting the flu make your nose run? Because it’s just as scared of getting the flu as you are.
Great Funny Nose Puns
What happens if you blow your nose too often? It leaves and finds another face.
My dog doesn’t have a nose. Well, how does he smell then? Pretty bad.
What’s the difference between San Francisco and a big nose? Very little, you can see the bridge from space.
Why doesn’t the Egyptian Sphinx have a nose? Because it fell off from decades of cocaine use.
How do you know that someone has a broken nose? They’ll tell you about it.
Why does cocaine absorb faster through the body’s soft tissue? Because you should be doing something beter with your life.
How do doctors know whether a patient has a dangerous infection or a mild scrape? Usually by the smell of the wound.
What’s the right thing to do with your nose before a big party or event? Keep it out of anyone’s business.
What’s the accepted medical term for nose in the medical community? Schnoz.
What do you call a nose that’s in the wrong part of someone’s face? Actually an eye.
What’s the difference between regular candy and nose candy? The size of your grandmother’s eyes when she’s had the candy.
