43 Mummy Jokes That’ll Make You Cry For Your Mummy

Great Mummy Jokes

Why did it take us so long to discover the Egyptian mummies? Because for so long the government remained mum about it.

Why were the pyramids built in the first place? Because the ancient Egyptians loved their mummies very much.

Why did the ancient Egyptians embalm their dead? The smell.

Why were the pyramids built to be that shape? Anything else might have looked silly.

Why is paint made from powdered mummies rare and illegal? Because there isn’t much of it left.

How do we know that ancient Egyptians loved their dead very much? Because they still have them.

Why did the ancient Egyptians and some other cultures embalm their dead?So that modern cultures would know that they did.

Why aren’t mummies mentioned in the Bible? Because it wasn’t time to bury any of them yet.

What’s the worst thing you can do with an ancient Egyptian mummy? Wake it up.

What should you do with a lost Egyptian mummy? Send it back to its address.

Why are the catacombs full of corpses and not mummies? Because they didn’t have the time to wrap them properly.

What are ancient Egyptian mummies wrapped in? Enough mystery to power the tourism industry for another few years.

Why did the ancient Egyptians remove the heart and brain before they put someone’s body in a pyramid? Because it would smell.

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Funny Mummy Jokes

Why did the ancient Egyptians bury their mummies with something valuable that the person might have had in their life? So that Egyptian archaeologists in the twenties and forties would have something to steal.

How do we know that the ancient Egyptians buried their deceased with elaborate dress and rituals? Because of the movie.

Why did ancient Egyptians wrap the feet of their mummies? So that they would be less likely to get up and walk away later.

Why doesn’t the Sphinx in Egypt have a nose anymore? Because she’s had to smell corpses drying out in the desert for too long and just couldn’t take it anymore.

Why doesn’t the Sphinx have a nose anymore? Because they cut it off to spite their own face.

Why are so many of the world’s mummies located in Egypt? Because they can’t get up and walk away to somewhere else.

What did the Pharaoh say when he saw that he had died and been buried? Nothing, his tongue was in another jar.

Why are the Egyptian pyramids made to be that particular shape? Because spheres would have run around.

How do we know that the pyramids weren’t build by an ancient civillization of aliens? Because you can’t find any mummies in space.

Why did ancient Egyptian men live longer? Because in most households of ancient Egypt we only buried the mummies.

Hilarious Mummy Jokes

Did you hear about the Pharoah who stubbed his toe against the side of the pyramid so hard he cried? He wanted his mummy.

Why did the ancient Egyptians wrap their mummies in cloth that was made from linen? Because other types of cloth hadn’t been invented?

How do we know that Egypt entombed their mummies with some of their valuables? Because we asked them.

What’s the most valuable thing that you can find at a scientific dig? The value of the science degrees.

Why did the ancient Egyptians remove the organs before they made their mummies? Because they were hungry.

What’s one of the most valuable mummies that have ever been found in the desert and used by the government for years in the name of tourism? Arnold Vosloo.

Why were ancient Egyptian mummies buried in pyramids? Because it was strange to mummify your grandmother and keep her in the family living room.

What’s the most difficult part about being a mummy according to popular science? Being dead.

Why should you never go out on a date with a mummy? Because they’re known to be jerky.

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Mummy Jokes for Everyone

Why do mummies like to paint so much? Because they were ground up into pigment for a few hundred years.

What do you call a mummy on a plane? Very lost.

What should you call a lost mummy in the middle of New YorK? An Uber so that it can get back home.

Why did scientists only discover some of the more recent mummies in Egypt over the past few years? Because they couldn’t get any signal before now.

Why were there so many sequels made to The Mummy? Because they kept digging up new bodies to make movies about.

Why didn’t the ancient Egyptians cremate their mummies? Because the ancient Egyptians needed fire for other things.

How do you surprise a mummy? Wake it up.

Why do archaeologists work in teams of two or three and almost never alone? So that they can manage to root out any necrophiliacs.

What do you get if you drop an ancient Egyptian mummy down a flight of stairs? Fired.

What happens to a mummy if you kiss it under the moon at midnight? Maybe they come back to life and start dancing, nobody out there has ever tried.

What’s the worst thing you can do with a mummy? Dancing with it.