These paper puns are so funny you’ll write off the rest of the day because you laughed so hard. All of them are worth a pay-per-view, so tell all your friends!
Paper Puns
Why didn’t the toilet paper win the race? Because it was feeling wiped out.
What happened to the lady searching for toilet paper in the mall? She found her prince Charmin.
What happens when the world runs out of toilet paper? Depends.
Why was everyone panic-buying toilet paper when they heard about the incoming asteroid? Because they knew paper beats rock.
How do you recycle toilet paper? Carefully, with gloves on!
Why was the toilet paper unstoppable? It was always on a roll.
What kind of life does toilet paper live? It’s generally on a roll.
What is a two-dimensional owl called? A paper towl.
Why isn’t anyone shaking hands during the pandemic? Because everyone is out of toilet paper.
How does a roll of toilet paper feel at the end of the week? It feels wiped.
Why did toilet paper feel like rollig down the hill? Because it needed to get to the bottom of it.
What happens after using high-quality toilet paper? You Sparkle.
What happened to toilet paper companies aftr the pandemic sellouts? They were on Fire.
What did customer care after I called to complain about dysfunctional product? They did not re-ply to me.
What do yu call it when retialers unjustly raise the price of TP? A rip-off.
What is the favorite sport of cardboards? Boxing.
What do you call someone tired of playing card games? Cardboard.
What is a belt made of cardboard know as? Waist of paper.
What did the depressed paperclip say to his friend? I’m barely holding myself together.
What happened when the paper bomb blasted? Everyone crumbled.
What kind of paper do animals hate? Parchment paper.
Why is it more profitable to purchase cardboard boxes online? You always get an extra one.
How can a cardboard gun be reloaded? With paper clips.
What is the advantage of a paper about to be used for origami? It’s tenfold.
What did the piece of paper say to the binder? I love you a hole punch.
Why did the origami company shut down? The company was paperless.
What did a blind person say after touching sandpaper? “Who wrote this nonsense?”
What do you call a paper which is a musical star? Rapping paper
What did I do if a cop pulls me over and said “papers”? I said, “scissors,” and drove away.
What is toilet paper’s favorite type of fabric? Velvet.
What happened to my origami company? It folded.
Why did I give up on my origami hobby? There was a lot of paperwork.
What did a dog say after walking over a piece of sandpaper? Rough Rough.
Ever wondered why a piece of paper never wins a race? Because paper is stationary.
What would you call a piece of paper with a bull on it? Bull sheet.
What’s the similarity between a joke and a paper bag? Both can be recycled.
What kind of paper always sticks to each other? Adhesive paper.
What is a printer’s least favorite kind of sandwich? Paper jam.
What did one answer sheet say to another answer sheet when the exam started? Let’s roll.
Who scares a paper the most? A Scissor.
Which paper did the kid invite to his birthday party? Paper popper.
Paper Jokes
The pencil says to the paper?
“Don’t look now; I’m changing.”
What do sloths enjoy reading?
Snooze-papers!
I wondered what my cat said to the shredder.
Teach me everything you know!
What are the similarities between jokes and paper bags?
Both can be recycled.
After walking over sandpaper, what did a dog say?
Rough Rough.
What paper do animals dislike?
Parchment paper.
What did the paper tell the pen?
Write on.
What did the paper clip confess to the magnet?
I find you attractive.
What do I call a paper airplane that doesn’t ever fly?
Stationary.
The teacher asks why you’re staring at a blank piece of paper.
I’m drawing a blank.
What do you call papers that don’t like to sing?
A rapper.
Why shouldn’t you ever give frogs paper?
They’ll always rip it, rip it.
Why did the toilet roll down the mountain?
To get to the bottom!
What do toilet paper and the Starship Enterprisehave have in common?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
Why did the TP roll trip on the doormat?
It ran out.
What type of TP is a mathematician’s favorite?
Multiply.
What caused the Terminator to stumble upon TP?
Aisle B, Back.
Why didn’t the TP finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
What made the toilet paper so cool?
Because it was on a roll.
Why didn’t the TP cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
How do you make tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What makes elephants different from paper?
You can’t use an elephant to make a paper airplane.
Paper Short-Liners
I’ve never written a paper on John F. Kennedy.
But I’ll have a shot at it.
Contrasting with stocks, TP makes an excellent investment.
It’s most valuable when it hits bottom.
The hardest part about wrapping paper is…
Not many words rhyme with “paper.”
Yesterday, my math teacher had a sheet of graph paper.
I think he’s plotting something.
Since I ran out of toilet paper, I used newspaper instead.
The Times is rough.
I loaded paper into my printer, and it flashed a message, “I can’t handle it.”
It turned out it was in Depeche mode.
Humans cut trees, make paper, and write ‘save the trees’ on it.
