Why toe the line when you can break free and enjoy some downtime reading our toe-tally funny toe puns, one-liners and jokes?
Toe Puns
It’s nice toe meet you!
Toe infinity and beyond!
The food is toe-rific!
Jim Toe Laws
Don’t Toe there
Toe and boil your head
Toe berserk
Toe by the board
Toe by the book
Toe for a burton
Toe haywire
Toe like the clappers
Toe off half-cocked
Toe out on a limb
Toe postal
Tow One-Liners
Welp, I think I’m just toe-ing you around, so I’ll make my way out.
The easiest way to look at a toe is to take a photoe.
The baby lost the toe-sucking competition. He tasted defeat and nothing else.
The new shoes are toe-tally toe-riffic.
When toes go to Japan, visiting Toe-kyo was the top of the list of cities!
Toes love Pokemon, and their favorite is the Toe-gepi.
I stubbed my toe on a solid gold bar. I cried “Au Au Au” in pain!
If there was a documentary on strange-looking toes worldwide, we could call the show ‘The Toe-Files’.
My younger sister thought TGIF shoes were instructions saying ‘Toes Get In First.’
What did Loki say after stubbing his toe? Oww, that was Thor!
What is a foot’s favorite chocolate? Toe-blerone!
What’s a toe’s least favorite vegetable? Bunions!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals!
I broke my toenail yesterday. Wanna see pho-toes?
What do you say when you duplicate your enemy’s toe? Foetoesynthesis.
Yo momma’s feet are so large that she needed a sock for each toe.
Do you know about the TicTacToe Beetle? It has a XOskeleton.
What do Clocks like to play? Tick Tock Toe.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe? OW!
What do you call Mexicans with rubber toes? Rober-toe.
What do astronauts get if athletes get athlete’s foot? Missile Toe.
What did the cell say to her when his sister’s cell hopped on his toe? Mitoesis.
My grandfather broke his toe today. He was on his Toetruck.
What did the cat say when she hung her toe? Meowwwwww!
It would help if you never parked your tow truck on the footpath. It’s gonna get toed!
What do you call Stephen Hawking with his toes on fire? Hot wheels.
What illness comes from sucking on too many toes? Diafeetis.
I dropped a big bottle of ketchup on my toes. Now there’s pain in my tomatoes.
What do you call sexualization of toes? Feetish.
I thought I beat my Asian friend in Tic Tac Toe. My bad! It was a Thai.
Toe Jokes
A man lost his toe after accidentally dropping his kitchen knife onto his foot.
The doctor replaced his toe with candy. Now, he has a tic tac toe.
I have a skin condition affecting my feet and legs. I find anti-dandruff shampoo clears it out and soothes it.
So, for my knees and toes, I use my head and shoulders.
The best way to keep yourself alert is to join ballet.
It’s the only sport that keeps you on your toes throughout.
My mother caught me gorging out ofthe fridge at night and now she keeps the fridge locked and the key on her toe.
When I asked why she said I needed to start a ‘keytoe’ diet.
My friend said he was the kind of making the best toe jokes.
I looked at him and told him his jokes were toe-tally bad.
My brother loves showing off her skills by using her toes to pick up things off the floor while she sits in a chair.
When I pass on his favorite snack, I say, “Take our burrrr-i-toe!”
After my accident, the insurance company paid for my Navigator to be towed.
When I explained the story to my wife at dinner, she asked, “Why’re they paying for your big toe?” and we both couldn’t stop laughing!
A breakfast table with a cola bottle on it is an amazing thing.
It has four legs and lacks toes.
The amateur toe footballer played in a match against professionals and shouted,
“Help, I’m toe-tally out of my league in this game!”
The little toe didn’t like talking to the other toes too much.
He was too involved in himself and his activities. The other toes called him in-toe-verted.
A vegan hurt her foot playing sport after school.
I took her out for some toe-fu after practice to cheer her up!
My father is working day and night on a foot-controlled keyboard
Today, he finally finished the first pro-toe-type.
All my friends started talking to each other about their toenails in class.
It was grossing me out so I politely asked them to change the toe-pic!
What do you call a dinosaur walking around the jungle with a sore foot and toe?
You call him an ‘Ankle-sore-us.’
Toes are one of those appendages on the body that love snacking.
There favorite snack of choice is toerittos.
I went to see the doctor with a case of hang-nail.
He diagnosed me and prescribed me loads of toe-ma-toe ketchup!
The biggest poet in our town had really long feet and toes.
He was such a Longfellow!
My frequency always stubs her toe on the furniture.
Every time he does, he reacts by saying, “Ouch, that Hertz.”
My one-legged friend lost all of his toes in a freak accident.
Now we all have to call him Tony!
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