Are you feeling ratty? We’ll bring a smile to your face with our cheesy puns, rat-ical one-liners, and jokes to keep you laughing.
Rat Puns
Play mice now, little one.
What a mice day to tell rat puns.
Pickup lines are just cheesy.
Can you keep a sec-rat?
I mouse ask you a question…
Be a mice person to everyone.
My friend’s a real gym rat.
Don’t rat me out, bro.
That’s what cheese said.
That’s totally rat-ical, my dude.
Try to a-mouse me.
Mice cream.
Rats! What bad luck.
That kid is a real b-rat.
Rat One-Liners
What kind of insurance do rats need? Road dent insurance!
What is a rat’s favorite game? Hide and squeak!
Why do rats need oiling? Because they squeak!
What do you get when you cross laundry detergent with a rat? Bubble and Squeak!
What do you call a rat with a wooden leg? A pi-rat!
What will a rat never tell you? A squeak-ret!
What do you call a rat with a cold? Rat-achoo-ouille!
What is a rat’s favorite breakfast cereal? Mice Krispies!
How do you get a rat to smile? Say cheese!
What was the name of the rat Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
How do rats celebrate when they move into a new house? With a mouse warming party!
Where do rats go to replace their tails? A re-tail store!
Why was the rat afraid of the river? Because of the catfish!
What is a rat’s favorite dessert? Cheesecake!
Who is the star of rodent Harry Potter? Daniel Rat-cliffe!
Why does a rat do the washing up? To make it squeaky clean!
Where do rats go to get drinks? A Squeak-easy!
What do you call a spiritual rat? A Buddha-Pest!
What do rats eat on their birthday? Cake and mice cream!
What did the rodent say when he got the wrong answer on his test? Drat!
How do rats keep fit? By practicing ka-rat-e!
What do you call two rats madly in love? Squeakhearts!
What did the old rat need when he went to the dentist? Ro-dentures!
What is a rat’s favorite movie? The Fast and the Furriest!
What do you call rats who are best freinds? Bro-dents!
What did the mommy rat say to the little rat when he passed his test? Cong-rats!
Why did the rat go to university? Because he wanted to join a f-rat-ernity!
Rat Jokes
What sound does it make when knocking on a rat’s front door?
Rat-a-tat-tat!
Why does the mother rat never tell her babies a bedtime story?
She doesn’t have a tale!
Where do rats go to get drinks?
A Squeak-easy.
What do you call two rats deeply in love?
Squeakhearts.
What will a rat never tell you?
A squeak-ret.
What do you call a rat that got run over by a car?
Roadent Kill.
What do you get after crossing a rat and an elephant?
Who cares? It’s huge.
What do you call rats with no legs?
A furball.
What do rats like on their birthday?
Mice cream and cake.
What do you call a snitching scientist?
A lab rat.
How does a rat get around?
Using car-rat.
What did the rat say after seeing a bat flying overhead?
Oh my! An angel!
What is a rat’s favorite breakfast cereal?
Mice Krispies.
Why can’t rodents be successful criminals?
Because someone always rats them out.
How do rats keep fit?
By practicing ka-rat-e.
What’s the name of the most famous rat philosopher?
Soc-rat-es.
Why did the rat run away?
Because it didn’t have a wheel.
How do you measure a rat?
With ka-rats.
When does a rat know it’s used its wheel too much?
When it squeaks.
What do you call a rat with the flu?
Rat-achoo-ouille.
What do you call rodents that steal your dessert?
A pie-rat.
What sound does a rat’s door make?
Squeak.
What is a rat’s favorite movie?
The Fast and the Furriest.
What did people say after they caught the Black Plague?
Aw rats!
When does a rat take a bath?
When no one’s looking!
What is a rat’s favorite veggie?
Car-rat.
Have you met the rat who doesn’t want to tell anyone his name?
He prefers to stay anony-mouse.
Why was the rat upset with his boss and his job?
It didn’t pay enough salary (celery).
When do rats run away from rain?
When it’s raining cats and dogs!
Did you know rats landed on the moon last year?
The rat said, ‘one small step for a rat, one giant leap for rat-kind!’
Did you hear about the rats who moved out of his apartment the city and settled in the countryside? He was tired of the rat race!
In India, rats are revered.
But in Hungary, they are Budapest!
Why do people use rat-shaped fishing baits?
Because they want to catch a catfish.
Did you hear about the rat who worked out at the gym 24/7?
He was a real gym rat!
Did you hear about the skateboarding rat?
He was totally rat-ical, dude!
A rat-catcher was chasing rodents and lost them.
The rat snitch pointed him to the sewer saying, “He went rat away!”
I play in a punk band called ‘Arrogant Rat.’
We’re like Modest Mouse, but way better!
What do you name rats with wooden legs?
Pi-rat-es.
What is a rats favorite car they liketo drive?
The Ford Moustang.
What happened to the man who found several huge rats in his home?
He was pretty rattled after it.
What airline do rats use when they go on vacation?
Emi-rat-es.
What did people call the rat who was very blunt?
He was a no-nonsense rat.
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