Card games can be hilarious, if you have the right friends and a sense of humor – who knows, you might even get a royal flush and walk away with the chips! Poker is one of the best games you can play with fifty-two cards – assuming that nobody is a cheetah!
Here are some of the best creative poker puns for kids, including funny poker jokes, great poker one liners and funny one-liner slot machine jokes.
Poker Jokes One Liners
Last night I got together with some friends to play poker using a tarot deck. Unfortunately Dave ended up with a full house and everyone died.
What’s the worst animal to invite to a poker game? The cheetah.
What’s the worst thing you can do at a funeral? Play poker.
Why is online gambling banned in South Africa? Because of all the cheetahs.
What do gamblers have at every poker game as their favorite snack? Chips.
Why did the poker player have to move? Because he had a full house.
Funny Poker Jokes for Kids
What do you call a gambler who wins everything with a royal flush the first time they ever play poker? Probably cheating.
In which city can gambling be the most dangerous and almost make sure that you end up bankrupt? Sun City.
What do you call a gambler who is really good at playing slot machines? Actually playing the change machine.
What do you call a poker player who doesn’t lose a single game? Deceased.
What do you call an honest poker punter? Dead.
Poker Face Jokes
What did the casino punter put on his gravestone? Three sevens.
Why is there always a long line at a poker table’s nearest toilet? Because everyone is waiting for the royal flush.
What’s the difference between an online poker game and one at a casino? You don’t have to wear pants to play poker on the internet.
Why did the poker player go insane? Because he couldn’t deal with his losses anymore.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his wife in a poker game? It was due to his gambling addiction, and he says that he would bet anything to get her back.
Why do poker players have more children than other people? Because they like the thought of a full house.
Why are poker players so good at studying for their exams? Because they ace them every time.
Playing Card Ace Puns
What’s the difference between a professional poker player and a pizza? A pizza can easily support a family of three.
Why did the poker player eat asparagus if he was allergic? Because he liked to play with the odds.
Why did the poker player stand out at the poker game? Because he was at odds.
What do you call a poker player who can’t stop winning at the tables? Cheating.
What do you get if you take all $1, 000 at an informal poker game? Shot in the alley.
Why are pirates some of the best gamblers at the poker game? Because they’re always on deck.
Why did the poker player show up with a blind little person at the game? Because he heard about the Little Blind.
Funny Poker Names for Kids
What’s the worst thing you can do at any poker game? Wear your heart on your sleeve.
What do you call a poker player who bets their house on a card game? Determined.
What’s the single most illegal thing you can do at a casino poker game? Shoot the dealer.
What type of poker should you never play with family? Strip.
What do you call a player who always seems to get the best hand at the poker table? Cheating.
Which of the big five should you never join in a poker game? Lions, they’ll probably eat you before you’ve dealt the cards.
Why is the famous painting called Dogs Playing Poker? Well, they’re not riding their bicycles around town in it, are they?
What should you serve at a poker game? Chips.
How do you know you’re in a poker game with a mobster? The opponents keep getting less.
What should you do if you see someone cheating in a poker game? Don’t go all-in.
Why are some poker players difficult to get along with in a group of people? Because they have a chip on their shoulders.
Where do losing poker players go? Their mom’s house.
What do you call a poker player who likes to play poker with their landlord? Homeless soon.
What do you call an illegal poker game? Nothing, it never happened.
Poker Knock Knock Jokes
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Poker.
Poker who?
It looks like you forgot about our poker game tonight, let me in!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Clubs.
Clubs who?
Club’s closed, please let me back in.
Slot Machine Jokes One-Liners
What do you call a professional slot machine player? Deranged.
What slot machine gets you the highest payout? None of them.
Which slot machine should you avoid at all costs? Most of them.
