If you had to give it some serious thought, then you would notice that eyes are one of the most common body parts on the entire planet. Most people own a pair of their own! It’s not really okay to own someone else’s. Here are some of the best eye puns (that are totally worth looking at).
Eye Puns One Liners
I think everyone should get a book about Braille. It can be really handy.
Why should you always let blind people feel your face? So that they can give people a description when you’ve gone missing.
How should you read Stephen King’s IT in Braille? Very carefully.
How do you know that someone is vegan? They won’t eat the eyes you served them with their dessert.
How do you guess your date is blind? Because they never turn the lights on.
Why do people go blind as they get older? So their casseroles can look better.
How do you know that you might be going blind? The house is getting cleaner but you haven’t done a thing.
What should you do if you meet someone without eyes? Google why.
What’s the difference between partially and fully blind? How safe you’ll feel as a passenger in their car.
What’s the safest way to drive if you’re partially blind? An Uber.
A man goes to the doctor after a severe fender bender. The patient asks the doctor: “Will I be able to read braille” The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “I don’t see why not.” The patient almost jumps out of bed from excitement. “That’s great!” he exclaims. “I wasn’t able to do that before at all.”
What should you say to someone you’ve just met at the store who has your mother’s eyes? You should ask him to give her back.
Why do some cultures love to eat chicken feet? Because very few cultures love to eat chicken eyes.
How do you know that lobster has cooked for long enough? Usually because it’ll stop looking at you.
How do you always remember what type of eye color your boyfriend has? Just ask his fiance.
What type of eye can see everything you do, even when you’re asleep? The new model iPhone.
Funny Eye Puns
What’s the worst thing someone can ask from their partner in a divorce settlement? Their eyes.
Where would you find a sheep that has no eyes? Probably exactly where you’d last left it.
Why did Hannibal Lecter go on a blind date? He thought she had nice eyes.
How do you know that a zombie might find you attractive? They roll their eyes at you.
What’s worse than someone finding an eye in their sandwich? Not finding an eye in their sandwich.
What’s worse than frog’s leg soup? Elk eye stew.
A dog and a human walk into a bar together. They sit down and the man orders a beer. “What’s up with that?” asks the barman. “Oh, that’s nothing, don’t worry.” says the dog. “That’s just my seeing eye human.”
What’s the most difficult thing about being blind? Knowing there’s still flop, turn and river.
My parents met at a boxing tournament. My mother used to say that my dad has the nicest blue eye.
I became an editor because I have a great eye for detail. It’s right on my desk and sometimes it helps me work.
What do you call a flying iPhone? Stolen.
Why do spiders have so many eyes? So that they can scare you with them, of course.
Funny Eye Puns
What’s the best romantic movie about eyes to watch with your partner? The Hills Have Eyes.
What’s the difference between a generator and a transformer? Well, a Transformer is just more than meets the eye.
What’s the worst thing you can look at in a church? Someone else’s wife.
What does your new boyfriend have that I don’t? Oh, eyebrows.
What’s the least romantic thing about eyes? Shaving them before your date.
How do you know that someone really trusts you when you’re out on a date? They’re nice enough to leave their eyes next to you on the table when they go to the restroom.
What should you never order on a first date? Anything with eyes in it.
What’s the worst thing to find in a fortune cookie? An eye.
Which bird is known for having only one eye? The pigeon, of course.
Why did your parents have only one child? Because they saw what the first one looked like when it was born and decided to stop there.
What do medical professionals call a child born with no eyes and three legs? Unsightly.
Why does the mythical Cyclops have only one eye? Maybe it’s Maybelline.
More Funny Eye Puns
How can doctors tell that a baby is going to be born blind? The baby can’t see where they’re going on the way out.
My grandfather lost his eyes in the war. He just put them down one day, and never found them again.
How do you know that you’ve got a seeing eye dog? Because he knows where he’s going.
Why did the model leave her husband? Because they didn’t see eye to eye.
What’s the most difficult thing abut being a blind jazz guitar player? Listening to the rest of the band.
What happens when you drop your iPhone on your face? You’ll need an iPatch.
What’s the worst thing you can do with your eyes? Give them to someone for Christmas.
