The medical community is a life-saver. It’s a serious business and is responsible for the welfare and health of the people. We can make a joke or two about it in good humor. Let’s have a laugh at its expense.
Medical joke of the day
You’ll find your doctor gets mad when she runs out of patients.
The cookie decided it needed to go to the emergency room because it was feeling crummy.
Build a hospital with LEGO and create a plastic surgery.
Why do doctors bring a red marker to work? Just in case they have to draw blood at the hospital.
A Sturgeon is a fish with a medical degree.
A medical student failed their anatomy course because he just couldn’t cut it.
The beekeeper went to the doctor to treat their hives.
The frog went to the hospital because the doctor booked him in for a hop-eration!
Where do horses visit when they need medical help? The horsepital.
How did the doctor treat the snake for its illness? He gave the serpent assp-irin!
You can’t lie to an x-ray technician. They’ll see right through you.
Medical organ puns
I went to the library to look up a medical textbook on abdominal pain. Unfortunately, a student already ripped out the appendix.
Two blood vessels fell madly in love with each other. Alas, it was all in vein.
A blood vessel is an organ’s favorite boat.
Why do your lungs, liver, and heart fit in your body? Because they’re efficient and well organ-ized
For years I was against being an organ donor. After my accident, I had a change of heart.
The anxious brain lost its nerve after stepping up to the bungee jump.
Statistically, ninety [percent of all injections are in vein.
What did the vein say to the blood clot? Please don’t hang around.
Urine trouble if you get a bladder infection.
If you listen varicosely, you can hear the blood rushing through your veins
We’re so alike we be-lung together!
If a judge convicts neurons of a crime, they go to a nerve cell.
Surgery puns
Did you hear about the guy who lost feeling in the left side of his body? He’s all right now.
Why would I trust surgeons who repair slipped disks? Because they have my back!
Two surgeons joked about on the job and had each other in stitches!
An electrician decided to go to medical school to specialize in surge-ery.
The doctor made a blunt statement when he said the surgical scalpel wasn’t sharp.
I just had a liver transplant operation that saved my life. The doctor really de-livered for me!
I asked the doctor for something for my liver. She wrote me a prescription for half a pound of onions.
If you’re not medically trained, you’ll find discussions between brain surgeons to be mind-numbing.
The nurse put an IV in my right hand before surgery. I started texting with my left hand, and she said, “Wow! How is that even possible?” I replied, “I’m ambi-textrous.”
Anatomy puns
The definition of your leg muscles is hereditary. They run in your jeans.
The nose is in the center of your face because it’s the scent-er of your senses!
Urine is the opposite of “you’re out.”
If you’re not laughing, perhaps you need to understand the anatomy of a joke.
Milk is the favorite beverage of the calf muscle.
Call a toe truck if you hurt your foot while driving.
Eyes make great teachers dedicated to their class because they only have a single pupil.
Medical jokes one-liners
I don’t find medical puns funny since I started suffering from irony deficiency.
I don’t get the point of acupuncture therapy.
A good dentist will always get to the root of the issue.
The banana decided to see the doctor because it wasn’t peeling well.
Why are pediatricians always annoyed and angry? Because they have little patients!
A patient arrived at the doctor with a rash. He was itching to get some help.
Nurse: What’s the condition of the girl who swallowed that quarter? Doctor: No change as of yet!
Where did the duck go when he felt ill? To the ducktor.
What music platform do eye doctors use? iTunes.
You’ll have to visit the foot doctor to get heeled!
What do you call a nurse that assists alligators? Gator-aid.
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling jokes when I’m at the airport. My physician says it’s terminal.
Short medical jokes for kids
Hip pop is the favorite music of chiropractor’s around the globe.
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines but CAT-scan.
These optometry puns are just so cornea!
Medication jokes
What do you call frozen aspirin? A chill pill.
Why don’t medicine and yogurt agree with each other? One is an antibiotic, and the other is a probiotic.
Be quiet inside the pharmacy, or you’ll wake the sleeping pills!
A pharmacist gave me the wrong prescription. It was a bitter pill to swallow.
