Are you heading out on a train trip with your kids? Traveling by train can be slow and boring, and kids need to keep themselves occupied. Here are some jokes to crack with the kids on your trip.
Train puns one-liners
It turns out the truth was hiding in train sight.
An express train is a press train that lost its job.
There are locomotive Olympics where conductors must train really hard to win.
A train can think about one thing at a time because it has a one-track mind.
A tired train is called a slowcomotive.
You know what they say. Trains are only as strong as the weakest link!
When we canceled our journey, all our plans went down the train.
The driver never missed a day of work. He’s always on time, come train or shine.
Knock knock train jokes
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ivan. Ivan who?
Ivan workin on the railway.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Levin.
Levin who?
I’m levin on a train today.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Mister.
Mister who?
Mister train to the city.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Quintus.
Quintus who?
Quintus the train leave for New York?
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the suitcase, you check when the train leaves.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Betsy. Betsy who?
Betsy, of all, we’re not late for the train.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Chew. Choo who?
You sound like a choo-choo train.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wenceslas.
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?
Train puns for Instagram
The train driver is cunning. He’s got a track up his sleeve.
The train driver gets up at the track of dawn.
The driver is resilient. He gets track on his feet.
You must know every track in the book to drive trains.
Being a train driver is a challenging job. You have to keep track of the details.
Train drivers are criminals. They’re experts at covering their tracks.
The conductor is very at-track-tive. Everyone wants to ask him out.
The train driver keeps chugging. No one drinks faster!
Model train jokes
How many model railroad engineers does it take to change a light bulb? One. Model railroaders really aren’t funny.
Men who collect model trains drive their wives insane with the money they spend on their hobby. One day, a hobbyist spent $1,000 on a train set. Furious, the wife took the train and broke it over his head. He took her to court on the charge of domestic caboose.
Railway Train puns
Driving trains is a lot harder than it steams!
In case of emergency, keep calm and carriage on.
It’s a freight day for a train ride!
A train ride? You’re asking for travel!
The best time to buy model trains is during the end-of-line sale.
Hunters must ensure they don’t follow train tracks!
Train crime jokes
Why did the train thief hide the railway? He wanted to cover his tracks.
How do you find a stolen train? Follow the tracks.
Scotland Train-Yard is responsible for solving railway crimes.
What happened to the men taking the train home? They had to return it.
Thomas the train jokes
What did Thomas the Tank Engine say after Gordon pulled him out of the mineshaft? Tank you, Choo great.
What’s the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine? Thomas found his way through the tunnel.
How did Thomas the Tank engine get faster? He trained night and day.
Today, I tried to sell my Thomas the Tank Engine train set at an antique store. The assistant said, “You would have got more for it if the fat controller wasn’t missing.” “Yeah, you’re probably right. She’s good at haggling,” I replied.
What is it when Thomas the Tank Engine beats his girlfriend? Domestic Caboose.
Thomas the Tank Engine thinks he might be a girl. Now he identifies as Trains-gender.
Choo choo train puns
What’s the difference between a steam train and a teacher? One says don’t chew gum, and the other says, “Choo-choo.”
What do you call trains that keep sneezing? Choo-choo trains.
When I was a kid, my mother would feed me and say, “here comes the choo choo train.” I had to finish my food, or she wouldn’t untie me from the track before the train arrived.
