Are you ready for some farmyard giggles? We have a collection of corniness that will leave you in hysterics. Saddle up and get ready to laugh. Remember, we reap what we sow.
Farm Puns
Hay there.
Cluck off.
You look radishing.
You’re legen-dairy.
You’re hay-larious.
Oh, crop.
Sheep happens.
Treat udders kindly.
It’s pasture bedtime.
Lettuce turnip the beet.
We have a wheat-ly routine.
I herd it’s your birthday.
Cows have hooves instead of toes because these animals lactose.
To get a cowgirl to like you, a tractor.
The farmer is out standing in his field.
Farmers get medicine from the farm-acy.
In the morning, I need calf-feine.
The best farm animal for keeping time is a watchdog.
Farming isn’t the best life choice for everyone But hay, it’s in my genes.
A sleeping cow is a bulldozer.
If you need a listening ear, talk to corn.
The best method for treating a sick pig is by using oink-ment.
Farm One-Liners
Did you hear that the police arrested a turkey at the farm? They suspected fowl play.
Scarecrows love fruit, especially straw-berries.
Farmers earn meager celerys, they arrive home beet, and want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed.
There’s a new talent show on Fox for farmers. It’s called the X-Tractor.
Did you hear about the farmer with sneaky sheep? He said they kept pulling wool over his eyes.
When farmers milk cows, they talk about udder nonsense.
It was 3am, and the farmer hadn’t gone to bed. He waits until the cows come home.
Did you hear about the farmer who formed search party looking for his lost chickens? Fortunately, she tracked them down.
A group of farmers couldn’t decide what crops they wanted to grow, so they had a vote on it. It was a straw poll.
I know a farmer who feeds his pig’s sugar and vinegar. He likes sweet and sour pork.
Farm Animal Puns
Did you hear about the big pig who won’t fit in the pen? There’s more to the pig than meets the sty.
A cow’s favorite meal of the day is breakfast. They always have moo-esli.
Cows are a perfect audience to tell jokes to; they are easy to a-moo-se.
Chicken’s love to bake cakes from scratch.
Did you hear about the cow who was scared of everything? It was a total cow-herd.
I once had a pig named ‘Ink.’ It kept running out of the pen.
Every sheep’s favorite sport is baa-dminton.
You’ll never shock cows with anything you tell them; they’ve herd it all.
The best timekeeper on the farm is the watch dog.
Funny Farmer Sayings
As a farmer, I hear lots of sheep jokes. I’d tell my dog, but he’s herd them all.
Mixed-up hens lay scrambled eggs.
I live by the seeds of my plants.
Never do sewing at the farm. You end up looking for a needle in a haystack.
Ducks always rise at the quack of dawn.
I farmers who work from May to September. They say they like to make hay while the sun shines.
Tough hens lay hard-boiled eggs.
It would help if you never took a pig for grunted.
Farming is in our nature.
Fences should be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.
Farmtastic Crop Field Puns
Making hay is difficult, but it seems cut and dried.
Magic tractors turn into fields.
Did you hear about the farmers who got angry and tired and angry when they made straw bales? They hit the hay.
I’ve fell out with the local farmer. We made plans, but he baled. It was the final straw.
Farmers will use pro-tractors when making crop circles.
Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.
Farm Jokes
What new crop did the farmer plant?
Beets me.
Why did the pig take a bath?
Because the farmer said, “Hogwash.”
What do baby corn say to the mother corn?
Where’s the popcorn?
What kind of pigs knows karate?
Pork chops.
What kind of things do farmers talk about when milking cows?
Udder nonsense.
What farm animal keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
Why do cows like hearing farmer jokes?
Because they like being amoosed.
Why is the farmer cruel?
Because they pull corn by the ears.
Did you hear about the farmers wooden tractor?
It had a wooden motor, wooden wheels, wooden transmission, and wooden work.
Where do farmers send their kids to school?
Kinder-garden.
I the farmer if it’s easy to milk a cow.
He said, “Sure. Any jerk can do it.”
Under any circumstances, no farm building should ever be used as a convent…
Barn nun.
Where do farmers get their medicine from?
The farm-acist.
What do farmers say when losing one of their cows?
What a miss-steak.
What do I call cattle with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
I tried to navigate the farmer’s field…
But it was a maize.
What did the farmer get after crossing a goat with an owl with a goat?
A ‘Hootinanny.’
What’s the best part of farming?
Getting down and dirty with my hoes.
Grain farmers have a tough life.
They barley survive from wheat to wheat.
What is a Happy Farmer’s favorite candy?
A Jolly Rancher.
What happened when the farmer crossed a shovel, chili pepper, and a terrier?
He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Why can’t bankrupt farmers complain?
Because he’s got no beef. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
