Are you a Harry Potterhead? You might find these puns funny if you’re a fan of the legendary franchise. Take a few minutes to read through them and give yourself a chuckle. It’s worth the effort, we promise.
Harry Potter one-liners
Ron can Weasly his way out of any situation.
It’s important not to get ahead of yourself and jump to the Ron conclusion!
They never said going to Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.
But, of curse, learning magic is hard.
I chant, get enough of reading Harry Potter.
Owl ask the questions in this class. Thank you very much.
Why are you so muggle-headed about things.
My life is always an open spellbook for you!
You have to admit, after last night, he’s looking a little Hagrid.
Shush, it’s time for us to remain quietus.
You never want to go walking in Diagon Alley alone.
Slytherins love typing messages to friends on Snapechat.
There is no time for dawdling. Pick up the pace. You better Harry up.
Let me tell you a Pottercularly strange Harry Potter pun.
Spells come in all sizes and Snapes.
You must admit Harry Potter gives the impression of a myst-sirius story at times.
Don’t worry, owl make sure I’m right there.
Hogwarts Puns
How do you get accepted into Hogwarts school? By stepping through the Dumble-door.
What’s the biggest issue in Hogwarts School? Those darn spelling mistakes.
Why is everyone scared of mailing letters at the Hogwarts post office? They speak in parcel-tongue.
Why was Sirius banned from attending Hogwarts? For his black magic.
Why is it confusing to study at Hogwarts? Students don’t know witch-craft to choose.
What mints does Hogwarts provide its students? Enchant mints
Why does Hogwarts fail to promote externships? They don’t have any de-mentors.
How did Snape manage to get back to his office? He was Slytherin there.
Why do Hogwarts students avoid coming across McGonagall in the hallway? She’s a catty person.
Why didn’t Hogwarts students receive 10s on their papers? They required a 9 3/4s.
Gryffindor Puns
Potter gets himself into Harry situations.
When Hermione’s around, you can expect Granger things to happen.
Gryffindor’s are known for jumping to Ron conclusions.
Ron is somewhat of a Weasley character.
Why do Gryffindors like to exercise? Because of all the Gryffindorphins.
What did one Gryffindor member say to the other? I Gryffin-adore you!
Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix never speak? He had a Fawked tongue.
What’s Harry Potter’s life motto? Neville, give up!
Slytherin Puns
When the hat sorts you, you need to make a Snape decision if you want to be a Slytherin.
I told you I heard it through the Snapevine.
You’re in for a Severus problem if you haven’t read any Harry Potter stories.
Growing up as a member of Lord Voldemort’s family really was a Gaunting task.
We need to Riddle the world of the Death Eaters.
There are Severus factors to consider when fighting Lord Voldemort.
Draco’s friends were all Slytherining morons.
You have to baron mind that Slytherins can turn into bad wizards and witches.
Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw Puns
I assure you that Ravenclaws aren’t Luna-tics.
Please don’t go off on a tangent and Chang the subject!
Newcomers might have a Helena of a time making their way through life as a Ravenclaw.
Lockhart, I was only trying to ask you a simple question.
We don’t Sprout out answers in divination.
Don’t let the team get shufflepuffed on the Quidditch field.
When you are a Hufflepuff, you need to ensure you’re hufflin’ every day.
Hilarious Harry Potter Jokes
What do you get if you mix Hagrid with Harry Potter? Hairy Potter
How do wizards stop itching after a mosquito bite? Quidditch
Why don’t wizards get lost? Because they’re natural wand-erers.
Why doesn’t Black ever laugh at anything? Because he’s Sirius.
What id the theme song for dementors? “You take my breath away”
What did the crowd say after Harry got the golden snitch? He’s a keeper.
Why do wizards not like walking down the street at night? They’re afraid they might get muggled.
Why is Fred avoiding the Chamber of Secrets? He’s a-Fred!
Why do people avoid Hermione? Because she’s Grangerous.
Why does George need to take naps? He had his bread and butterbeer.
I’m trying to write a story on Platform 9 3/4. But I keep on hitting a wall.
