Stretch Your Lungs with a Good Laugh and Read these Hilarious Yoga Puns

We promise you’ll be laughing so hard after reading these yoga puns and jokes that you’ll need to breathe deeply and relax for a minute. Stretch your sense of humor, and enjoy!

Yoga Puns & Jokes

What do cows walking backwards and yogis have in common?

They both say oooooom.

 

Why do dogs love yoga classes?

It’s a great chance to paws and reflect.

 

What do you call a communist person doing yoga?

Stretch Marx

 

I’m worried I’m not great at yoga.

Some days, I feel like a poser.

 

How does the yogi order a pizza?

Make me one with everything!

 

I gave my cat some oat milk the other day.

Now it teaches hot yoga on Tuesday nights.

 

What do yoga teachers want for their birthday?

Your presence.

 

I’m trying to write a pun on yoga.

But it’s just not working out. It just seems a stretch.

 

Where do you live if you can’t afford a yoga class?

The omless shelter.

 

I’ve been practicing yoga for decades.

Yep, it’s been a pretty long stretch.

 

Why did the donut struggle in yoga class?

It couldn’t find its center.

 

What do the kids call yoga?

Twister.

 

What is the most romantic yoga pose?

Pro-pose

 

What do you call a bagel that mastered all poses in yoga?

A pretzel.

 

What do you say when finishing a squirrel yoga class?

Nutmaste.

 

Why does everyone love yoga teachers?

They bend over backward for you.

 

What do you do if the yoga guru goes missing?

Nothing. They’ll find themself.

Why are apples so good at yoga?

It has a great core.

 

What’s a pirate’s least favorite yoga move?

The plank pose.

 

I did a yoga pose over this river, created from yesterday’s acidic rainfall.

I call it “a bridge over troubled water.”

 

What do ambulances and yoga classes have in common?

They both contain stretchers.

 

What’s the most deadly yoga move?

Corpse pose.

 

What do yogis tell their mom when they want to leave a yoga class early?

Nah, ma, stay!

 

I took up yoga recently. The instructor asked me if I’m flexible.

I said, “I can only do Tuesdays.”

 

What kind of yoga do dead bodies practice?

Decom-pose.

 

Yoga class instructor: Welcome. Uhh, why are you carrying a lightsaber?

Me: I misread the brochure I have.

 

 “Warrior 2?” my instructor asked.

“No, I’m actually a writer,” I replied.

 

I asked my instructor “What’s up, dogg?” as I walked into the yoga studio.

She replied it was a back-bending yoga posture lengthening and strengthening the core, spine, and arms.

 

People say yoga changes your life.

But I think that’s something of a stretch.

 

I arrived late for my yoga class on Tuesday.

My instructor yelled at me to get my asana mat.

 

What kind of yoga is popular as nudist yoga?

Over ex-posing.

 

Why’s it easy to make appointments with yoga teachers?

They’re just so flexible.

 

Why did the yogi return their vacuum cleaner?

It came with too many attachments.

 

I run a yoga and meditation studio for donkeys.

It’s called “peace of ass.”

 

What happens if you kill your yoga teacher before the class starts?

You get charged with premeditated murder.

 

Why did the yogi tell the dentist to leave the anesthetic?

He wanted transcend-dental-medication!

 

Why are weightlifters so good at yoga?

They have great flex-ability

 

I got thown out of yoga class yesterday.

Apparently, I misinterpreted the Half-Moon Pose.

 

Have you heard of the new type of yoga where you go up and down?

They call it yo-yoga.

 

A femur and a humerus got close during a hot and sweaty yoga session. What did the femur say to the humerus?

“Quite the trochanter”.

 

What did the yogi say after her friend asked her to leave the class?

Nah, Imma stay.

 

My yoga teacher was drunk at class yesterday.

She put me in an awkward position.

 

I’m booked a yoga class every day this week.

You could say my timetable is flexible.

 

What car brand is the best at yoga?

Mercedes-Bends.

 

My girlfriend asked if her yoga pants made her look overweight.

“No,” I replied. “It’s you making the yoga pants look fat.”

How we both laughed. Anyway, I’m single now.

 

Jesus is a regular practitioner at my yoga studio.

Pilates messed him up bad, but he keeps coming back.

 

Did you see the romantic comedy with Tom Hanks as the yogini?

It’s called “Yoga mail.”

 

What did the yogi put on their sign outside their studio?

Inquire Within.

 

The thief stole $100,000 worth of inventory from Lululemon yesterday.

The cops forced him to return all 30 pairs of leggings.

 

What do yoga pants eat for dessert?

Lululemon meringue pie.

 

What animal hibernates in odd poses?

A yoga bear.

 

Where do fish go to do yoga?

The river bend

 

My doctor doesn’t want me to practice yoga anymore.

He thinks I self-meditate too much.

 

I tried to get my grandpa to yoga class today.

It was a stretch.

 

I just invented five new yoga poses trying to get a cookie I dropped under the table.

 

Why did the yoga practitioner get fired from her cashier job?

Because she kept telling the customers change comes from within.

 

How do you know if the yoga teacher is angry?

She gets incensed.

 

What do you call a yoga practitioner with the flu?

Sick and twisted.

 

A man was arrested for selling pirated yoga DVDs.

He’s now doing a long stretch.